unpavemypaths | open post

[She's not making any moves to get away from him. If anything she's keeping him there, a leg still hitched up around his waist and arms tight around him as they both calm down, her breathing finally starting to slow. She doesn't want to let go. God, she's not ready to let go.]

It's a good theory. [She does her best to laugh in response, but he's not the only one feeling everything else creeping back in. Guilt because she doesn't know if he had a good reason to stay away, fear that it's going to be the last time he's here. Even anger, somewhere deep down where she can barely admit it to herself, because she needed him and he just left.

She tries to laugh, and it breaks halfway through into something closer to a sob, pressing her lips together and her eyes shut tight as she tries to hold it back. The last thing she wants to do is ruin this, especially knowing it can slip away at any moment.]

[As much as she knows him, he also knows her, he just can’t always tell what people need the same way she can. This time it’s fairly easy, his arms holding onto her a little tighter as soon as that heartbreaking noise leaves her mouth, his hands rubbing up and down along her back, lips pressing into her hair, along her temple, her forehead.]

I’ll be back, Genie, I promise. I know where you are now and that professor won’t mind getting me tickets. As soon as I have control again, I’ll come back to you.

[He means it, there isn’t a single thing that could stop him from coming back, the problem is that he doesn’t know the next time he’ll have control. For all he knows it could be another few years. He hopes with everything in him that it isn’t, that he’ll be back soon, that she won’t be alone again.]

[If it's that simple. If he's in control again while he still can manage that. If some other version of him doesn't just -- change his mind, at some point, up and leave again. She still doesn't know why he did it in the first place, who's to say that it won't happen again? If it doesn't turn out that he's angry enough at her for letting it happen to put precautions in place, to stop himself from getting back, she doesn't doubt that the older version of him could figure it out if he really felt he had to. If he doesn't find his soulmate and fall in love before the next time he gets a chance to come back to her.

She wants to believe it so badly, though.]

I know. [Her voice is still thick from the tears that she's refusing to let out, and she gives a shaky laugh, her hand coming up to touch his cheek gently. Trying to ignore the worries that want to start swarming her.] I'm just -- glad you're here.

[He frowns, his hands still rubbing against her back. He’s never seen someone who was glad, look so heartbroken, but he nods. Maybe her saying it is really just her trying to believe it, and he can’t blame her for that.

He leans forward to kiss her, taking the opportunity while he still can, staying very close when he pulls back again.]

I’m kind of mad at you, you know. [There’s a tease in his voice that says he isn’t being serious, that he’s setting up another joke, once she responds he replies.] You didn’t tell me that I become a giant nerd…I was wearing a matching pajama set this morning, Genie. A striped matching pajama set.

[It gets her to smile, genuine even if it's still small, nuzzling another kiss against his cheek.] Sounds cute. You should have taken a picture. And what's wrong with being a giant nerd, huh?

I’ll take one for ya as soon as I get back. Once I have the phone again. [Considering he left it in his room when he hurried out this morning. He lifts one of his hands off her back, tangling it in her hair, twirling some of the strands around his fingers.]

It’s fine for other people. Just didn’t expect it, I guess. [It’s hard to believe he goes from sleeping on the streets, stealing to survive, to practically wearing a suit to bed.]

You forgot it? Does anyone know where you are? [Asked with a little frown. Not that she thinks anything will happen, but she knows that if he hadn't turned up here, she'd be worried about him suddenly losing touch again. At least if they know where he went, they know they can call her.]

Guess it's probably different there than most other places. [She's not actually prying, doesn't even know how much he knows about it, but she is curious where he's been. If he's been okay, for the most part.]

I left it. [A somewhat proud correction. Little rebellions, it’s all he’s capable of. Maybe he will miss something important. He hopes he makes it difficult for the next guy.] The professor probably does. He bought the plane ticket.

[He makes a soft noise of agreement, watching as her hair slides through his fingers, quiet for a moment.] I came from a beach. It was cold so I spent most of the day in my jacket, I never got the chance to look around. Before that I was trying to get to you…I made it as far as Chicago. [He slips into quiet again, just thinking, trying to move back enough to remember where he came from before that.] I think the care home was before Chicago. They weren’t very eventful trips so I can just about remember back.

Okay. [That's good, at least. She knows she would have worried if she'd tried to reach him, though. And she should probably encourage him to let Isaac know, for similar reasons. Just... that can wait, for a while. She's pretty sure that won't actually somehow mean he has to leave, but she can't help the worry.

Her eyes stay on his face as he talks, leaning into his hand, waiting a minute for him to go on before she says anything. Her voice soft, hurting for him, the thought of him out there alone.] I really hoped you'd found somewhere you'd be happy and -- safe. I guess you weren't that lucky.

I don’t think I’d be able to find that without you there. [She is safe for him, and happy. It might come off as flirty, it’s also the truth, even if other versions of him don’t think so.]

You never know. [But she doesn't really sound like she wants to argue, smiling at him a little, leaning up to kiss him again softly. She's just happy she can do that for him, even if it's only sometimes.]

[He kisses her back, not arguing even though he wants to. He supposes that at this point, she would know more than him on the matter. It’s frustrating, mad at himself, his later self, for causing her this pain. When they pull back from the kiss, he presses another one to her lips and then more all around her face, just trying to get her to smile.]

[She can't help giggling a little at the gesture, a grin on her face that she's not even trying to hold back. Despite everything, despite all the worries, she's just so fucking happy to see him.]

You had a long flight, do you need anything? A nap? Dinner?

[The look he gives her when she suggests a nap is downright offended, as if he is wasting a moment of this on sleep. It clears though when she suggests dinner. Now that his other desires as satisfied, he is starting to feel hungry again.]

I could definitely eat. [He kisses her one more time before they start moving, just wanting to revel in it as much as he can.]

[She leans into it, lingering, her hand against his arm as she finally pulls away, squeezing it gently.] Come on, then, I'm sure I've got something in there for you. [Granted it's mostly frozen foods and takeout leftovers, too busy for anything that takes time, but she doubts he's going to be picky, especially with how skinny he's gotten.

She doesn't bother to get dressed again as she slides off the bed, just scoops up his shirt on her way back through the living room, figures it'll cover her well enough. Anyway, that's one of the nice things about having her own place, not having to worry about anyone else, even if she doesn't have many reasons to take advantage of it these days. There's a little galley kitchen off the living room, cramped but functional enough, a half-full coffee pot sitting on the counter near the entrance, and she gestures for him to take a look while she hovers there to make herself a cup.]

[For a moment he doesn’t move, just sits up and watches her, still completely devastated by how beautiful she looks, so different from how he was still imagining her, but better, so much better, and finally here.

He stretches as he gets out of bed, grabbing his boxers but not bothering with much else as he follows her back out to the living room. He presses his hand against the small of her back, kissing the side of her head as he walks by her to get to the kitchen, then immediately starts looking through what she’s got.

He grabs a slice of pizza and starts eating that cold as he pulls out a few other things, leftover rice, and some kind of meat. Another slice of pizza after the first gets his approval, and some water.]

I’m guessing you didn’t see me… [The other him. The one he’s mad at.] But did I at least say hi when I got back?

Yeah. I got a text, anyway.

[She leans against the counter, not making any attempt to hide the way she's watching him, drinking in the sight of him. She's had dreams about him being here like this. Living here, staying with her. She doesn't think it ever would have happened, even if he'd stayed, but she'll take what she can get.]

I was thinking about coming in at the end of the month for a little while. Spend our birthday back home. You offered to talk to the professor about helping me get there. [Offered like it should prove something. See, he wasn't avoiding her completely, not really. Not anymore.]

[He frowns again at just a text, the slice of pizza halfway to his mouth, he lowers it slightly. Not even a phone call?

He's glad at least that he offered to get her out there, but god. What must happen for him to act so mean towards her? Clearly nothing she's done so far. He nods as he dishes out some food for himself on a plate and pops it in the microwave.] You should do that. It sounds fun. You shouldn't be here on your birthday. [Shouldn't be alone.]

Maybe you could...try to talk to me? [Unfortunately there isn't much he can do from where he is at. He could leave notes but this version ignores that, the later versions could just do the same. But he doubts the feelings that he has right now, the way he feels about her just went away. Maybe if she tries to talk to the later versions, they might have a chance to still be together. At least like this.]

Well, I'm not just planning on ignoring you. [The lightness there is obviously put on, trying too hard, and she drops her gaze after a second, watching the spoon she's stirring around in her cup far too intently.]

...You just got back. I thought it'd be better not to ask about anything.

[She doesn't want him to decide to stop talking to her again.]

[He smiles slightly at her joke but it's tense, he feels bad even putting this on her, wishes there was a way to make the other versions listen to him better even knowing that there isn't. He watches her quietly, the way she looks just about as anxious as he is and knows that it's probably pointless anyway.]

Yeah. That makes sense. [The microwave beeps so he moves to grab his food, bringing it over and setting it on the counter to cool for a moment, his appetite having waned slightly.

He decides change the subject, bailing on the idea completely, not wanting to make her upset or think about the fact that no matter what they do, it obviously fails.] I'm surprised Izzy didn't move out here with you.

[She shrugs a shoulder, moving to squeeze around him to grab the milk out of the fridge.]

We talked about it a little, but... it didn't seem like the best plan. Not right away, especially. You know, he was still trying to get a handle on what all this meant for him, and how to control everything. You know how often his control would slip if he got freaked out, and everyone in the room would start feeling it? It took a while to stop doing that, he's a lot better with it now. And he had somebody there who understood it a lot better, and I wasn't going to be home much to begin with to help him, so...

[She leans back against the counter next to him as she settles into place again, thoughtful.] Anyway, it worked out. He's happy now. I guess it's where he was supposed to be.

[He listens to her carefully, seems like she downplays her involvement quite a bit. He remembers watching them back when they were all in the house together. Isaac would barely move and she would just know something was wrong and move over to him, making it so that she was the only thing he could see and talk to him, calm him down. It was like they were in their own little world. Sasha can't imagine Izzy finding anyone who understands him better.

Moving closer to her, he puts a hand out, resting it on her side.] I bet he misses you like a limb. Just cause people can live with one arm, doesn't mean everything wasn't easier with two.

[Rubs his thumb against her hip bone thoughtfully.] Glad he's happy though. He on his own too?

I know. [There's a lot of things she has doubts about, but for the most part, her brother's love for her isn't one of them. She knows he wouldn't give up his life now for anything, not even to come be with her again, but that doesn't mean she isn't still important to him. It's more complicated these days, but it's never gone away.

She says it with a little smile, though, leaning into him. She appreciates it anyway.]

Married to his soulmate. [As much as it's a little bittersweet, and she meant what she told the older him about it feeling weird -- there's nothing but happiness for him there.] He's a nice guy. They're good together.

Married? Already? [He can't help the shock in his voice. He doesn't think he was gone that long -- now that she's said it, he does vaguely remember reading it in the notes. He must have just met him in everyone's current timeline.

It's not that he's that surprised, Izzy has always been a bit of a lover boy, he's just thrown that it happened so fast. Was it because they are soulmates? Surely that can't be the answer to everything. Doesn't anyone just marry for love instead of doing whatever that stupid mark says?]

As long as he's happy...[He doesn't mean to sound bitter. It's just hard to come back to all these changes, especially when he's still trying to fight against a future that he feels is already here.]

Yeah. Didn't really plan it or anything. They only knew each other a few days.

[She rolls her eyes, but fondly, amused more than anything. The smile fades a little when he speaks again though, glancing over and then slipping closer to him, wrapping an arm around his waist. A little reminder that he's here now, that no matter how complicated things can be (are, will continue to be) she's here for him.]

He was happy to see you, too. [Because no matter what happens, no matter the fact that Imogene's always known things are going to end between them someday, considering the way the older version of him was with her from the beginning -- Sasha's always going to have a place in their lives. Neither of the twins are good at letting go of people they love these days.]

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